Lately, life has been teaching me things my 12-year-old self never saw coming. Growing up, the tv was on all the time. Whether it was Family Guy, Everybody Hates Chris, or Madea, I was watching it. Funny enough, I knew I wanted to work in a creative environment after I watched Ugly Betty; working with creatives, managing ideas, and immersed in art. Since middle school, I’ve wanted to be an art director and I mapped out the schooling, the steps, and the trajectory with precision.
Then I arrived.
Now that I’m standing in the future I built, I’m met with a strange stillness. Honestly, I felt I arrived earlier than I planned, with still being in college, still learning, and struggling, the urge to “hustle” tells me I need to be doing more, being more, achieving more. So most of the time I’m constantly moving and working, but that pressure is exhausting. It wasn’t until I reached my second year here at MORTAR, that I realized that life is actually about being present.
At 20, I’ve realized I can only be as “great” as I am in this exact moment. It was either that or feel like I’m failing. I felt like I was failing most of the time because I wasn’t the person who I thought I’d be at this stage in my life, but slowly, I’ve been realizing I can’t force a version of myself that doesn’t exist yet. I’m finally learning to be okay with the process, finding comfort in the person I am becoming rather than the person I thought I had to be. MORTAR has helped me with this; hearing all my coworker’s stories that brought them to this career, seeing our alumni’s journey in their businesses, and even 18-year old me. I have changed so much in the past couple of years since I’ve started here and grown so much. Life is kind of crazy like that and the tv shows I grew up watching don’t show this version of life, which has been a struggle but also a gift. This is what brings me peace daily, knowing I have so much to be thankful for, to experience and learn. And learning how much the present is a present.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”
George Bernard Shaw
Diamond Foster
Operations Coordinator
